It was very surprising for me when I come to know that my confusions regarding my existence is not unique and it has happened to many people. This is the major problem with an individual who had been brought up in a religiously active family and is undergoing an education which is based on scientific knowledge. I have been struggling with myself to find out the reason behind what is exactly the truth about the mysterious past, unrecognized present and unknown future of life. Here life is not restricted to my own life but to the whole living world. I was reading a book "like the flowing river" by Paulo Coelho in which there is a prose where author says that when a survey was conducted in different school to find out regarding what are the general queries which the children want to know about. The result gave the following list of questions:-
- Where do we go after we die?
- Why are we afraid of foreigners?
- Do Martians and extraterrestrial beings really exist?
- Why do accidents happen to people who believe in god?
- What does god mean?
- Why are we born if we die in the end?
- How many stars are there in the sky?
- Who invented war and happiness?
- Does god also listen to people who don't believe in the same god?
- Why are there poor people and ill people?
- Why did god create mosquitoes and flies?
- Why isn't our guardian angel beside us when we're sad?
- Why do we love some people and hate others?
- Who named the different colours?
- If god is in heaven and my relatives are there too because they died, how come he (god) is alive?
These questions are so genuine that we in spite of our adult understanding of universe cannot answer them. And one would be surprised to hear that these are childhood queries. What we lack is the spiritual education but I have not seen any school were spiritual knowledge is imparted that is why the confusion has existed and is giving all of us troubles.
One day when in an conversation with my father on the same topic he said that normal people are living in this world on various presumptions with regards to their respective queries and nobody generally goes beyond that. He said that I should also not go into the subject as it can make me distracted from my academics; he further said if you want to go deep into this then you should have the capability to handle that, asked how? He replied that people like Ramkrisna Paramhans who have got the real knowledge that we in Hinduism call "BRAMHA GYAN", Goutam BUDDHA, MAHAVIR and many others are the persons who got all the answers which they wanted because they had developed those powers to go deep into it and do research on it he added "if you have it then you can go for it". Afterwards I thought that the way in which he explained was to keep me on track. But the confusion is still there and I am not able to find anyone who can solve this.
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